


(love) hunt me down

by biochemprincess



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Deleted Scene - 2x11, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4833338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biochemprincess/pseuds/biochemprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz is the only person in the world who would be foolish enough, brave enough, to seek her out now. He is the only person in the world who knows that she needs comfort, when doesn't even know it herself.<br/>---<br/>(jemma's pov during the deleted scene in 2x11)</p>
            </blockquote>





	(love) hunt me down

"Get these all to the lab. Thank you."

This is how she is going to handle it.

Clinical words, detached from any and all emotions.

Not showing any emotions at all, burying it somewhere deep within.

Jemma watches the other agents as they carry cases to the lab. She had tried to sound nice and professional, at least she thinks so. She doesn't really care, if she is honest.

She turns around to take another look at the insides of the cargo hold and lets out a sigh of desperation. It feels heavy - to breathe, to exist.

The knowledge of her survival compared to the realization of the death and destruction around her, makes the mere task of standing on her own two feet almost impossible. She is so damn tired.

Of fighting. Of swimming. Of surviving. Of mourning.

The whole world is different. It's difficult to describe, to put into words. Like the earth's axis had shifted and now everything is askew.

But it is only their world that has changed forever now.

Seven billion people are still living their life, the same as before - some of them in different time zone, asleep and entirely oblivious - while theirs is completely different now.

Trip is gone and with him the world went darker, as if he had taken every ray of sunlight with him. They've lost a friend today. They've almost lost Skye too.

The sound of boots on metal echoes behind her, someone approaching her slowly. Jemma doesn't need to turn around to know who it is. She has his walk memorized since they were in their late teens.

Fitz is the only person in the world who would be foolish enough, brave enough, to seek her out now. He is the only person in the world who knows that she needs comfort, when doesn't even know it herself.

His hand touches her shoulder.

Not hesitantly, not shy.

Light, like the flap of a butterfly's wing.

Warm, like drinking tea during cold winter nights.

Familiar, like coming home.

How much she misses him.

God, how much she loves him.

(She wishes she were able to say it.)

A dam breaks inside her, releasing a flood of emotion she wants to contain inside her so badly. The world, the team, doesn't need someone as broken as her. They need her whole and healthy, a helpful soldier always ready to run into battle. But she can't keep it together. Not when all of this is her fault. 

There's so much blood on her hands.

His thumb strokes a soothing rhythm into her skin and messy sobs escape her throat. The tears fall involuntarily.

She quickly puts her hand on top of his and squeezes it.

Maybe, because she's afraid he might leave her.

Maybe, because she just needs someone to touch too.

Maybe, because it's all she can do.

Jemma is so starved, so hungry for his touch. They had used to touch him so damn much, she had realized after she had left him. They hadn't even noticed until it was too late. But she had remembered, during her time at HYDRA.

Beside each other the whole damn time included a lot of touching, it seems.

The memories from a year ago flash through her mind, when Skye's blood had clung to her hands, red and dark and angry. He had known then too. Had found her when she hadn't been able to face the pain alone.

It had started with a touch to her shoulder then too.

The memory of their hug is so real in her head, she can almost feel the ghost of the touch on her body, on her shoulder, now. She is existing in two worlds, memory and reality, and together they create something that might be real.

So much happened in the past year. They're different people, both of them. There are so many miles between them, so many missteps taken for the right reason and so many right steps that turned out to be wrong.

They can't even look at each other now.

(Jemma wishes she could.)

Now this touch to her shoulder won't end in a hug.

(They had hugged today already, in the cave, but it hadn't been comfort but their basic instinct to protect each other from any danger.

They have filled their quota.)

She can't turn around now and look him in the eye.

She knows, he can't either.

But their are willing.

They are willing to try and they are willing to give as good as they can. It's not much, it might not be enough; but here they are, pouring comfort into each other.

Because they're good at this, still good, after spending half of their life together.

They stand together in silence, while she cries.

For Trip.

For Skye.

For Fitz.

For herself.

For all they have lost and all they had to give up.

They stand together, until the world catches up on them again, coming back in the form of the two other agents.

Jemma releases her grip on Fitz's hand and he takes it away from her shoulder. The loss of contact makes her shiver. Coldness spreads where his touch had been only seconds ago.

"Thank you." She whispers with a thin voice, finally - finally - looking at him.

He smiles at her, barely. "Always."

They walk down the ramp together, next to each other, and their hands brush only so slightly.

Neither of them says anything.

-

(The world still exists.

It doesn't stop turning for them.

They would still break apart before falling back together again.)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the lyrics of 'Touch' by Daughter. (I'm so predictable.)  
> Please let me know what you think about it. :)  
> You can also find me @ mightyjemma.tumblr.com.


End file.
